i leave for austin in 5 days, gonna be there for the better part of two weeks, im going to fucking die
1 day agog1Features
MADHERO: Hey everyone, and welcome to a new full length version of Screwvies after last episode's bite sized edition. I'm sure nothing earth-shattering to a major franchise has happened since then? Just regular ol' summer fun, right?
STICKMAN: It's been too hot and I have died.
MADHERO: That too. Maybe avoid the heat by going to the cinema or something.
LARRY: I propose legislation for all theatres to require AC. All in favor?
STICKMAN: Yes please. All theaters require the Assassin's Creed movie.
MADHERO: I don't think anyone would disagree. But anyway, we've got some totally not big news to cover. Might as well give it a spotlight
Sooooooooo…… this happened. Before last week, we all thought the Han Solo prequel/spin-off was busy filming. Then suddenly, the bombshell dropped that directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller (21/22 Jump Street, Lego Movie) had left the project, in an official statement on the Star Wars website, citing the ever old ‘creative differences.’ This seemed like an especially odd time, since filming had been going on since February, and the film is out in less than a year. As it turned out, things went very, very wrong. Reports coming in from Hollywood Reporter and Variety suggest there was no chemistry between Lord/Miller and Star Wars supervisor Kathleen Kennedy and writer Lawrence Kasdan, who didn’t like their style of work and their push towards comedy, with visions never aligned properly. This got so bad that it led to the unfortunate firing of Lord and Miller, with 3 weeks left to shoot.
Help came knocking at the door quick, with Ron Howard now in charge of finishing the film along with the reshoots (which are par for the course for a big film like this, but might be a lot longer now). This is an extremely shitty situation for just about everyone. I was incredibly excited what Lord/Miller, geniuses who have the ability to turn bad ideas into great movies, had to bring to Star Wars, and to see it taken away like that must be soul-crushing for them. And while I get that Kennedy and Kasdan are protective, it does not paint a good picture of either of them. Ron Howard is a fine director, but he’s also rather safe and not all that exciting. Han Solo is still slated for a May 2018, but god, this is one weird development.
LARRY: I have so much to say about this. But I'm gonna stay contained and just say that this upsets me.
MADHERO: I don't think this is what fans in mind when they wanted a Star Wars director to be fired
STICKMAN: They wanted a Star Wars director sacked, they got two. They should be grateful.
LARRY: I've been reading up on the whole situation, specifically L&M's relationship with Kathleen Kennedy on set... and it's not looking to flattering for Lucasfilms.
STICKMAN: I feel like this is the same sorta bts issues Disney have had with Marvel as well, they hire specific directors for their unique visions, and end up fighting with them because they only really wanted their name attached, not their imagination.
LARRY: Which is... sniffs, ooh ya smell that? That's some BULLSHIT! I'm sorry, if you're gonna hire L&M to make a conventional ANYTHING, you've got a few screws loose.
MADHERO: We'll probably never know what exactly happened, and it sucks for everyone involved. I've worked on projects where everyone involved doesn't vibe and ultimately split, but that was a school project, not a 200 million entry in one of the biggest media franchises on the planet
STICKMAN: Do you think this damages the franchises reputation with its fans? They've been riding on easy street somewhat prior to this year, and now there's discourse on both Han Solo and Episode 9.
LARRY: Very much so. Also when you add controversies with Gareth Edwards after Rogue One, it just comes off as Lucasfilms not really wanting to truly let visionaries tell fun stories. Instead they need to stick to what's familiar, or what sells.
MADHERO: Marvel had a big issue with this before, and they seemingly got over it and let unique directors be unique, but it seems like Kennedy is super protective to the point of overkill. We saw this also with the heavy Rogue One reshoots. Lord/Miller was the reason I was excited for this film in the first place. Ron Howard, while perfectly fine, certainly doesn't excite me
STICKMAN: Will be interesting to see what Episode 8 turns out like, we haven't seen very much of it yet, but Rogue One had a hell of a lot of stuff cut or altered at the last minute.
LARRY: Ron Howard is a talented guy. But he's gonna direct "a Star Wars film”. L&M were gonna direct "an INTERESTING, NEW Star Wars film"
MADHERO: The BTS in the Blu Ray are going to be suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper interesting. I can already see the incredibly awkward interviews coming up
STICKMAN: As someone not super stoked for Star Wars in general, this didn't make me angry, but it does seem like the first big hurdle for Disney's annual Star Wars dreams.
LARRY: Yup. Elephants will indeed be in the room. Ooh, it made me angry. Not just because the Han Solo movie is now just gonna be some ol' movie. But just what this says about Lucasfilms in general.
MADHERO: We'll find out soon enough if it all turns out ok in the end. Choppy waters ahead.
SONY ANNOUNCES MORE PLANS FOR SPIDER-MAN, INCLUDING SPIN-OFF FILMS FOR MYSTERIO AND KRAVEN. CARNAGE TO BE VILLAIN IN VENOM MOVIE
Okaay, so we've had Disney ballsing up, now it's time for Sony to balls up, because Spider-Man Homecoming is ...coming, and the press tour has started, and OOh you better BELIEVE we've had a shit-ton of wild and wacky stories relating to all things Spider-Man.
The future of Spidey in the MCU has also been discussed in more detail, Tom Holland is contracted for 3 Spidey movies, whereas Michael Keaton is only contracted for the first for his role as the Vulture. We also found out that, whilst Robert Downey Jr/Iron Man isn't going to be in the Homecoming sequel, Sony/Marvel's contract stipulates that at least one MCU main player needs to be involved, and post Infinity War, who knows which of them will be around to do that, Doctor Strange, mayhaps? Interesting that it's required though.
And then we get to the Sony side of things. Much as we don't want it, there's simply no denying Sony are moving forwards with their stand-alone, MCU unconnected Spider-Villains film ideas. Tom Hardy was cast as Venom in an R-rated solo-movie, but we now have confirmation he'll be facing off against Carnage in that film. We also found out Sony have grand plans for these films, which include Venom and Black Cat films, but now reportedly also have Kraven the Hunter and Mysterio films in early production, with the idea that most will go on to star in the long-planned, twice canceled Sinister Six villain team up movie, following a similar strategy to Marvel in releasing several solo outings before then ending with a crossover. The issue though...is where does Spider-Man himself fit into this? Sony seem to think Tom Holland's Spidey can work his way into both these seemingly separate continuities, but...that'd be really weird, and if the recent, hilarious video showing Kevin Feige’s facial reaction to Amy Pascal's suggestion of that is anything to go by, it's not something that's actually been planned either.
LARRY: You thought this L&M stuff was a mess. Look at this bullshit.
STICKMAN: I hope you guys like Spider-Man, because...yep.
MADHERO: I'm getting major Amazing Spider-man deja vu here.
STICKMAN: I mean, I'm a reasonable fan of Amazing Spider-Man despite the flaws in both of those films, but yeah... any hopes of a cleaner path ahead for the webhead on the big screen seem to be rapidly diminishing.
LARRY: Sony just NEEDS to make Spider-Man films. They can't just accept their portion. They always need MORE.
MADHERO: I'm not a fan, but even then its mostly reminding me of how Sony ran headfirst into a wall and promised all these films that never happened. And it seemed like they were just going to let Marvel do their thing, and now its all turning super complicated.
STICKMAN: I do very much worry Sony are going to make this huge, probably very fragile deal with Disney collapse from these sorta plans. On one level, I'm disappointed that they're parceling off some of Spideys best villains for weird solo projects nobody asked for, and on another level I'm worried it's all going to fall apart again. I don't think the world can handle a fourth Spider-Reboot.
MADHERO: I get Sony wants to suck that Spidey-teet while they still fully own the IP, but it just seems weird to do that now that Poppa Marvel is back again. Mysterio and Kraven are not villains I really want to see a movie for.
LARRY: Okay well those are two great villains. Spidey's rogues gallery definitely features strong characters. I'm not against making movies about them. I'm against SONY doing it.
MADHERO: Well, yeah. I wouldn't mind them facing Spider-man, but having their own films? Ehhhh
STICKMAN: I'd love to see both go up against Spider-Man in a proper Spidey film, particular Mysterio. I mean, I'm just picturing Homecoming 2 being Doctor Strange teaming up with Spider-Man to fight Mysterio and that sounds awesome. But instead we get...a weird...spin-off...unconnected solo movie?
LARRY: Connecting solo movies could be great! Every villain has a story. But without Marvel helping, and with Sony doing so many so quickly, it irks me.
STICKMAN: And I really don't know how many times Sony need to try and fail to make Sinister Six a thing before they just give up and ruin another franchise they have clutched precariously between their draconic talons instead.
LARRY: UGH I'd love to see six movies building the Sinister Six. I think that could be AMAZING. Too bad Sony sucks at it, so.
STICKMAN: SPECTACULAR EVEN. But hey, Homecoming is out in a couple weeks. Whooo's excited? Ahh..nn....please don't suck.
MADHERO: We'll see more of this develop once Venom arrives, but needless to say, Sony should stop announcing all this shit before Homecoming is even out.
LARRY: Homecoming better be fucking GOOD.
In an odd bit of news, renowned actor Daniel Day-Lewis has announced a somewhat early retirement from acting. In what his spokeswoman calls a “private decision”, he has chosen to stop “working as an actor” and will not be making any future comments about it. That being said, he still plans on being in one last film, that being the next Paul Thomas Anderson project Phantom Thread hitting theaters this Christmas. However, past that, looks like he’s done for, which is pretty surprising. Lewis, now 60, still looks to have some good years ahead of him. He’s considered one of Hollywood’s brightest stars, having won three Best Actor Oscars, and two additional nominations. Despite his extreme selectiveness, he’s been in some very respected, popular films, including “Gangs of New York”, “Lincoln”, and arguably most famously “There Will Be Blood”. It’s a bit surprising to hear this news from him, though this isn’t the first time he’s quit acting. Apparently in the 90’s it was rumored that he gave it up until Scorsese convinced him to return for “Gangs”. Is this news real? We’ll have to see if Lewis tackles any more projects, but for now, it seems set in stone.
STICKMAN: I thought he'd already retired tbh. Guy's done jackshit since Lincoln.
MADHERO: Well his publicist confirmed it, so I'd imagine its real.
LARRY: Yeah, odd seeing as he's only 60. The man clearly has more left in him. Just curious as to how he spends his time now...
MADHERO: This is what Day-Lewis is known for. He's super picky about his projects. Their honestly are very few films in his resume, but most are great and hes amazing in them, he truly commits
STICKMAN: He's a good actor, very good, but I can't say I hold him that highly when I've seen him in so few films.
LARRY: I do. His performance in "There Will Be Blood" is incredible. Like... one of the BEST.
MADHERO: Such a good performance.
STICKMAN: I haven't actually seen that. Maybe I should get around to watching it.
LARRY: His performance makes that movie a modern classic. Arguably the same can be said for Gangs of New York.
STICKMAN: I watched No Country for Old Men and HOOOWEE that stunk. Kinda gave up after that.
MADHERO: I JUST...... HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
LARRY: Stickyyyyyyy. Those are two VERYYYYYYY different movies
STICKMAN: Yeah but they were like, same Oscars.
MADHERO: Cause Avatar and Hurt Locker are totally the same film
STICKMAN: I mean. Both have the army in them. ANYWAY, DANIEL DAY HEWY LEWIS AND THE NEWS.
LARRY: As someone who really liked Lincoln, this news is sad. Definitely think he could one or two more great performances.
MADHERO: Day-Lewis is great and its a shame, though maybe not too surprising with how super picky he is. His next (and I guess last) is going to be a There Will be Blood reunion with Paul Thomas Anderson, so look out for that in December. 4th Oscar secured?
LARRY: Honestly not sure this secures the Oscar. Unless the performance is something GREAT. Like I hope this performance is STELLAR. Cuz ya gotta go out with a bang.
MADHERO: Knowing Day-Lewis, it probably is
MOST OF FIRST CLASS CAST RETURNING TO X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX. JESSICA CHASTAIN IN TALKS TO PLAY THE VILLAIN
As you may have already heard, we're getting 3 X-mens movies next year (well, 2, but Deadpool 2 kinda counts) and the wherabouts of Dark Phoenix were interesting, in that pretty much the entire main cast's contract was up after Apocalypse. Those being James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult. It seemed doubtful that they'd re-up, since they've all moved on to bigger and better things, and Lawrence especially looked particuarly bored in Apocalypse. But they all reupped their contracts, and are joining Tyler Sheridan (Cyclops), Sophie Turner (Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix), Kodi Smith-McPhee (Nightcrawler) and Alexandra Schipp (Storm). They'll be joined by Jessica Chastain, who's likely to be confirmed to be playing Lilandra, queen of the Shi'ar Empire, with Simon Kinberg, longtime writer and overseer of the franchise, stepping up to the director's chair.
That's a lot of names, and also suggests a few things. For one, Evan Peters (Quicksilver) isn't back, and the Shi'ar Empire inclusion suggests we'll see the X-men franchise go cosmic for the first time. Kinberg has been with the franchise for a very long time, but this would be his first directing job, and making that such a massive film is always rather risky, even with his franchise experience. We can only hope that its a step up from Apocalypse, which was a unfortunate misfire. But hey, New Mutants and Deadpool 2 will still be a thing, so plenty of Xmen to go around.
STICKMAN: If oooonly I cared.
MADHERO: This has got to be like the 20th time you've opened with that line regarding an X-men newsstory
STICKMAN: Because it's TRUE.
LARRY: I'd like to think I can trust Simon Kinberg. I've heard him talk in interviews and he seems like a solid storyteller. Too bad he's been involved in some serious shit.
STICKMAN: I don't know how anyone who saw X-Men Apocalypse can be excited for another film in that series. It was pretty pants.
LARRY: It wasn't even the worst X-Men film. Logan proved that X-Men can be done right. It just requires new blood. And a drastic re-energizing.
STICKMAN: Haven't seen Logan yet, but that's like...an 18 rated solo movie and this is the 4th installment of the 2nd reality of the main franchise. HGhg..
MADHERO: Kinberg is very hit or miss as a writer. Like yeah, he's written The Martian, but also The Last Stand. Logan was something very different, and this will be more traditional X-men. I'm more cautious than excited, but I want to be.
LARRY: Dark Phoenix yes, admittedly. But again, with new blood, it could work. It's all about storytelling and strong direction.
MADHERO: Kinberg has talked plenty of times how much he fucked up Dark Phoenix with the Last Stand, which has become a laughingstock even in the franchise
STICKMAN: The X-Men film franchise is better when it's trying to be unique instead of the same. Deadpool was fun, Legion was good, and I hear Logan is very good. What's not good? Pretty much all of the mainline X-Men films with the exception of maybe 2 or 3.
MADHERO: I wonder how they'll cram in Hugh Jackman this time.
STICKMAN: I will continue to look forward to Legion Season 2 instead of X-Men films. And I'll probably watch Logan soon so NO SPIOILEERS.
SONY ANNOUNCES ‘CLEAN MOVIES’ PROGRAM TO DISTRIBUTE FAMILY FRIENDLY VERSIONS OF OLDER FILMS. DIRECTORS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT
So, taking things right back into the 'What the fuck, Sony' department, for what feels like the 2nd or 3rd such double feature on Screwvies...it's time for some STUPID BUSINESS DECISIONS. WOOOO. Now, Sony are a crappy film company, but they've released some films people like, a lot of them aimed at older audiences. But what do you do if ...say...you want to watch Captain Phillips, an intentionally grounded and gritty drama based on a true Somalian hijacking/kidnapping ordeal with your family? There's going to be bad words, and violence, and intensity....HMMM. Don't worry, Sony's got you covered with their new initiative...Sony CLEANVERSION. What's Sony CleanVersion? WELLLL, it takes your favourite movies and drains them dry of any potentially offensive content until you have a perfectly child-friendly husk of a movie that's probably not even worth watching!
Now, the basic idea of taking something like, say...Ghostbusters, trimming a few of the more adult jokes/references and making it more family friendly? That's not so bad. But when you're taking adult movies heavy on violence/language/adult themes/intensity, like Captain Phillips or Elysium? The response has been broadly negative, and that includes the people who have made films with Sony, like Seth Rogen, who publicly slammed the initiative and flat-out telling the studio not to tamper with any of his films. Sony have since gone on the record to say they now won't make a clean version of any film who's director objects to the concept, but it makes you wonder if Sony even asked the makers of the first wave of films if it was okay. So...yeah...Sony are idiots. The saga continues.
LARRY: Ah, Sony. Never shy about making shit choices.
MADHERO: This is such an alien concept to me as a foreigner. Like, I know that tv edits are a thing, but who in the right mind wants to go and watch something like Step Brothers or Elysium with the whole family if kids are there.
STICKMAN: TV edits for films are very rare here too.
LARRY: In the US, TV edits are def a thing. And in many cases they take away from the film. Example: I was on a plane and watched The Wolf of Wall Street, easily chopped 20-30 min of quality content. Because it wasn't "family friendly." Despite the fact that the movie was clearly Rated R
STICKMAN: In the UK you can't show films/TV of a certain rating before 9pm, and anything after that is fair game. I've seen TV edits for films before, like Jurassic Park, Robocop and Silent Hill, but I think those are just the TV versions brought over from America.
MADHERO: I think I watched a massively cut down version of Watchmen on a plane. I don't get the idea behind it.
LARRY: It's to make them more accessible.
STICKMAN: I can't see a film like Elsyium, whether you like it or not, existing when trimmed of adult content. Films like that are based entirely around adult content. What's left when you remove all of that? I'm almost curious to see what it's like.
MADHERO: Maybe its cause I have a bit of a pottymouth and have grown up on the internet, but a film having adult content is the most normal thing in the world, and its not like they're not enough clean family films out there to enjoy
STICKMAN: And editing films already marketed and watched by families to make them 'family friendly' is just...even stranger. They're already that, otherwise they wouldn't be. Film Ratings, SONY.
LARRY: To me, this is a case by case thing. Ghostbusters? Moneyball? Sure. But Hancock? Grown Ups? Nah. Some of these movies should not be edited.
MADHERO: But how else will my child be able to see Captain Phillips?
STICKMAN: I really REALLY want to see the edited version of Captain Phillips. Does he just get on the boat and then it ends? It's like that Simpsons episode where they change the ending to Gone with the Wind.
MADHERO: And then they all had a good laugh about it and went to get ice cream. The end
STICKMAN: Who can forget that iconic line in Captain Phillips when the pirate says "Look at me...LOOK AT ME....I'M SO SORRY THIS ISN'T MY BOAT I'LL LEAVE NOW" and then the film ends.
Hey, remember that time I had a dream that Travis Knight was signed on to direct a Transformers spinoff starring Bumblebee and Hailee Steinfeld? Yeah, weird. Well, you see, it’s not a dream. It’s actually happening. Yup.
But there’s more. So, the newest installment in the franchise, “The Last Knight”, seems to establish that the history of Transformers goes way back, all the way to Medieval times and Nazi Germany (yes, that’s a thing, check the trailers), so this movie will be taking full advantage of that as it takes place in the 80’s. It will follow Bumblebee’s crazy adventures, as well as feature the aesthetic of classic 80’s cars, so that’s cool. I mean, after all, Bumblebee was originally a Volkswagen Beetle, so that could be fun. But here is what’s really fun. According to producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, the movie reminds him of the beloved animated classic “The Iron Giant” due to how it is a rather “contained” adventure that still has a scope to it. Obviously this is somewhat laughable seeing as the Transformers franchise have been seen as quite… um… bad, with The Last Knight being no exception. But, with Bay leaving the franchise for good (hopefully), and proven talents like Knight and Steinfeld coming on board, perhaps we could see a turnaround? It’ll be nice to see something new coming to the franchise…hopefully. Please. PLEASE.
STICKMAN: Travis The Last Knight. There we go. I did the joke and people can see it this time.
LARRY: Okay, now that we got that off of our chests. Yeah, the more I think about this news the less opposed I get.
STICKMAN: I feel like the IRON GIANT aspect is just based around the naivety/lack of speech on Bububumblebees behalf.
MADHERO: I honestly thought Bumblebee didn't arrive until the first movie in like 2007, but then what do I know. I haven't seen this films in years and clearly they don't give a fuck about continuity either
LARRY: I mean...his reasoning makes a lot of sense. This is aiming to be what The Iron Giant was: a small contained story that still had stakes.
STICKMAN: I miss when Travis Knight was doing Kubo. He should be more like The Iron Giant and make another animated movie that everyone likes instead of this shit.
LARRY: I get that people think it's a shit comparison, but with Knight involved, it becomes more believable. Honestly...Knight probably would make this franchise better. It might be for the best he's on board.
MADHERO: Knight directing is the thing that has me most interested, because god do I want to see Transformers from somebody else's lens than Bay's, who's hogged it for literally a decade
LARRY: I just hope that Paramount doesn't drive his ideas into the ground.
MADHERO: Paramount is gonna do what sells. Have you seen that losing streak of theirs? They can't even sell The Rock
LARRY: ...yeah you're probably right. Let's hope he doesn't leave due to creative differences.
STICKMAN: I can't wait for the soul searching spin-off of Monster Trucks, directed by the guy who made Song of the Sea. S'gonna be great.
MADHERO: Now then, gentlemen. We could be continuing the Transformers talk in the Movies section, since its clearly the biggest movie coming out this episode, orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, we could do a review of something else?
STICKMAN: FUCK MICHAEL BAY.
MADHERO: Alright, Baby Driver review it is then.
DIRECTOR: Edgar Wright (Cornetto Trilogy, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)
STARRING: Ansel Elgort, Kevin Spacey, Lily James, Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm, Jon Bernthal, Eiza Gonzalez
SYNOPSIS: After being coerced into working for a crime boss (Spacey), a young getaway driver (Elgort) finds himself taking part in a heist doomed to fail.
MADHERO: So every time a new big Hollywood blockbuster comes out, chances are you'll hear this line: 'ughhhh, Hollywood is completely creatively bankrupt. So few original films these days.' Then a original film comes out that is really good and no one goes and sees it (see last year's examples Kubo and the Two Strings and The NIce Guys). So now here we have a completely original movie from geek favorite Edgar Wright, known for the Cornetto Trilogy and Scott Pilgrim vs The World. Chances are you've seen those films and liked them quite a bit, and whilst Baby Driver is something very different than those movies I mentioned, it is really really damn good and a great showcase of Wright's creativity and range.
Yes, if you're a fan of Wright's films and expect to see a big farce, don't. While definitely having plenty of moments that'll make you laugh, particuarely Kevin Spacey's snappy mob boss, it does play it mostly straight and keeps the dark undertones. That said, hoooooooooooooweeeeeeee is this movie fun. Much has been said about how Wright interweves the whole movie with music (the context being Baby, the main character, constantly listening to music to combat his tinnitus and to get into the driving mood), and it makes the film almost like a 2 hour long music video. The closest thing I can compare it too in my mind is Fantasia, how that combined its orchestra with its animated imagery. In this case its jukebox tunes instead of a orchestra, but it works, and really makes the film unique. Combine that with the likes of Blues Brothers and Bullitt, and you've got something wholly original.
LARRY: Ugh, ORIGINAL, VISIONARY FILMMAKING. GOD BLESS
STICKMAN: So, this film isn't a comedy, what genre does it fit in then?
MADHERO: If I had to classify it, it would probably be a crime thriller, but it takes its inspiration for all kinds of stuff. Do not go in expecting an all out comedy like Wright's other works. Its definitely something unique for him.
LARRY: It's definitely a crime thriller. I mean the trailers alone make that clear. I'd even say action crime thriller
STICKMAN: Larry you HAVEN'T SEEEEN IT. That's pretty cool, just so long as it retains the energy and fun we expect.
MADHERO: Oh its very fun. It starts with a car chase set to Jon Spencer's Bellbottoms, and while not a song you associate with a car chase, it actually works really well. The performances also make it a lot of fun. I already mentioned Spacey, but I'd also like to give special mention to Jamie Foxx, who plays a real piece of shit in this film, and Jon Hamm, who gets to show more range as the movie goes on, and it goes to some very fun places.
STICKMAN: Was gonna ask about the cast, you beat me too it.
LARRY: How's Elgort?
MADHERO: He's good, actually. I only really knew him from Fault in Our Stars, but he does manage to show his potential as an actor here. You buy this guy's sheer love for music and for his crush, played by Lily James, who doesn't get as much development, but is still very serviceable. Elgort manages to sell the many different parts of his character, from his badass on the wheel, to being kinda introverted and shy when just doing other things.
LARRY: Cool. Nice to see him showing his range.
STICKMAN: How similar to Ryan Gosling in Drive is he. Does he stomp on anyone's face?.
MADHERO: Aside from both being introverts and good at driving, not really all that similar surprisingly
STICKMAN: So he.........doesn't like........stuff?
MADHERO: He likes music....... a lot.
STICKMAN: Anything you didn't like?
MADHERO: I mean, there's some songs I otherwise didn't really care for, and I maybe wish it could've been just a tad bit funnier, but those all feel more like nitpicks. Its so good even Armond White decides not to be contrarian about it and keep its 100% on Rotten Tomatoes intact, and if that isn't a minor miracle, I don't know what is
STICKMAN: That's pretty crazy yeah. I am excited to see, and I feel like this is the sorta film those people who always whine about franchise movies should support instead of shitting their nappies at home.
LARRY: Wow. Thank god for that.
MADHERO: So yeah, I'll just wrap it up with a simple message: GO SEE IT! And not just because its original, but because its genuinely the best movie I've seen this summer. Its super fun, will make you listen to some good tunes, and provides great action. SO GO SEE IT WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE!
LARRY: Yeah! Support good filmmaking!!!! I am very excited to see it and I'll have my ticket opening weekend.
STICKMAN: To be fair we're only two days into Summer, BUT STILL. Drive your BABY to the local cinema and see THE BOSS...ahh...the other one.
MADHERO: Well summer movie season has been on for a while now, and has featured already a bit of stinkers. And our next film might be the biggest doodoo of them all
LARRY: Uh oh
STICKMAN: Oh no, is it time for…. DRAMATIC PAUSE
TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT
DIRECTOR: Michael Bay (Transformers 1-4)
DIRECTOR: Michael Bay (Transformers 1-4_
STARRING: Mark Wahlberg, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Hopkins, Isabela Moner, Laura Haddock, John Turturro
SYNOPSIS: In the absence of Optimus Prime, a war has commenced between the human race and the Transformers. To save their world, Cade Yeager (Wahlberg) forms an alliance with Bumblebee, an astronomer (Hopkins) and an Oxford University professor (Haddock) to learn the secrets of why the Transformers keep coming back to Earth.
MADHERO: Driving fear into the hearts of critics since 2007
STICKMAN: I didn't even like the firrrssst one. How are these films STILL BEING MAAAADE. It's got Nazis fighting robots. It might as well be a SyFy movie.
LARRY: I hear this may be the most laughably bad one yet...
MADHERO: I liked the first one because I was a 13 year old boy who liked Transformers already as a kid. I was pretty much THE target audience. Super excited for 2 at the time, and of course that went well, and now here we are in 2017, and Michael Bay is somehow still making them.
STICKMAN: 10 years of pain.
LARRY: I thought the first one was fine. The second was trash. Not sure why it moved on after that rubbish.
MADHERO: Well because it makes loads of money. Its not rocket science
STICKMAN: I felt they were broadly the same, just the second was even more offensive.
LARRY: No, the first is definitely not as bad.
MADHERO: The 2nd is like..... one of the worst films I've ever seen
STICKMAN: I'm not sure which is worse for me. Both are awful. And Michael Bay is a terrible person. So, naturally, I'm really stoked for this film.
LARRY: I mean, at least this one is laughably bad. The movies never have reached that point yet.
MADHERO: This is his last one..... which he's said for the 3rd and 4th one as well, but we'll see
STICKMAN: Hopefully it'll be the last...BLIGHT on this franchise.
DESPICABLE ME 3
DIRECTOR: Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda (Despicable Me 1 + 2. Minions)
STARRING: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Trey Parker, Miranda Cosgrove, Julie Andrews
SYNOPSIS: Gru (Carell) meets his long-lost charming, cheerful, and more successful twin brother Dru (Carell) who wants to team up with him for one last criminal heist.
STICKMAN: I'm just gonna not bother with life this week.
MADHERO: Speaking of franchises guaranteed to make money
LARRY: At least Pharrell came back.
STICKMAN: You know who else came back. MINIONS! OOHHHH BOOOOOYY, HEEERE THEY AAAAAAARE
MADHERO: Ok, so there's 2 weird things about this movie that we need to talk about. First, Trey Parker is in this
STICKMAN: Gotta pay for The Fractured But Whole somehow.
MADHERO: That's just...... really weird to me. Like, when's the last time he's worked on a project as just an actor. And how many kids are going to be exposed to South Park through this?
STICKMAN: I hope all of them. I want people who see these films to suffer.
LARRY: I mean, he's not getting top billing. This seems like a one-off gig for him.
STICKMAN: He's not a Minion so yeah, won't be coming back.
MADHERO: Well he's getting credited. But second. We know the Minions go to prison in this film, and one of the Minions has a banana tattoo that's like a teardrop tattoo. That usually means that they've killed someone while in prison
LARRY: I mean let's not forget. The Minions are evil. Like they come from a background of evildoing.
STICKMAN: They're an army of little Norman Bates.
MADHERO: It just struck me as odd. Oh, and I guess Gru or whatever is in it as well
STICKMAN: Y'know what's odd. How I can't go anywhere lately without seeing a Minion's asshole. Like. That's the marketing campaign. Here's a FUCKING YELLOW CGI ASS. I'VE SEEN MORE MINION BUTTS THAN HUMAN BUTTS LATELY. THERE'S A GOD DAMN MINION ASS ON TIMES SQUARE.
LARRY: I can confirm this.
MADHERO: And that ass is going to make a billion dollars.
DIRECTOR: Andrew Jay Cohen (directorial debut)
STARRING: Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, Nick Kroll, Jeremy Renner, Ryan Simpkins, Alison Tolman
SYNOPSIS: A dad (Ferrell) convinces his friends to start an illegal casino in his basement after he and his wife (Poehler) spend their daughter's college fund.
LARRY: Aw, can't go a shitty weekend at the box office without something raunchy.
STICKMAN: WELCOME TO THE HOOOUSE OF FUUUNNN
MADHERO: Feels weird to me that Will Ferrell and Amy Poelher hadn't worked together before. First time for everything I suppose
LARRY: I mean... they have. Just not both as stars.
STICKMAN: Is this the fourth entry and semi-reboot of the TV show House? Like, Final Destination got THE Final Destination. Is this THE House?
MADHERO: Well, not as co-stars and the like. I'm mostly interested in seeing Jason Mantzoukas in this, who seems to have quite the big role. Love him on How Did This Get Made.
STICKMAN: I've never heard of Jason Mantzzokssh. I don't care about this film either.
LARRY: Yeah, who?
MADHERO: Larry, I think you'd dig How Did This Get Made. Check that out. Otherwise, looks like a good comedy, I think. We'll see.
LARRY: I've heard it's funny. We'll see.
DIRECTOR: Bong Joon-Ho (Mother, Snowpiercer)
STARRING: Ahn Seo-Hyun, Tilda Swinton, Jake Gyllenhaal, Paul Dano, Byun Hee-Bong, Steven Yuen, Lilly Collins, Giancarlo Esposito
SYNOPSIS: A young girl (Seo-Hyun) named Mija risks everything to prevent a powerful, multi-national company from kidnapping her best friend — a massive animal named Okja.
LARRY: Finally, something I care about.
MADHERO: Going from Transformers and raunchy comedies to a Palm D'Or contender. My my how things change fast
STICKMAN: Now, I should point out, I haven't seen Joon-ho’s previous film because…. Oh. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WEIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIINSSSTEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEIIINNNN
LARRY: Snowpiercer was excellent.
STICKMAN: Snowpiercer isn't REAL MOVIE. How involved was Weinstein with this film.
MADHERO: He wasn’t involved at all. I did see that other flm and it was excellent, so I'm very much looking forward to this. I've heard so many crazy things about this film that I wanna see it for myseld. And I love that doofy looking hippo.
STICKMAN: It sure is a hippo. Looks twee and pretentious as fuuUUUuuck.
MADHERO: WIth floppy ears. I'm not sure why you think it looks pretentious though
STICKMAN: The film does. Not the hippo. The hippo is fine. But hey, this is a Netflix movie, which means you don't even gotta stand up to watch it. You can just press a couple buttons.
LARRY: Perfect! Again, ORIGINAL, VISIONARY FILMMAKING. More of that please.
MADHERO: I'll be seeing it as soon as it comes out, so I'm definitely looking forward to it.
STICKMAN: I may or may not. I think it looks kinda dumb. I like Tilda Swinton thoughhh.
MADHERO: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD WATCH IT AND SEE WHY IT COMPETED AT CANNES, STICKMAN. HMMMMMMMMMMMM
STICKMAN: MAAAYBBE THEY SHOULD RELASE FUCKIIN SNOWPIEERECERRR IN THE UK. IT'S BEEN LIKE 50 YEARS
DIRECTOR: Sofia Coppola (Somewhere, The Bling Ring)
STARRING: Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, Angourie Rice
SYNOPSIS: At a girls' school in Virginia during the Civil War, where the young women have been sheltered from the outside world, a wounded Union soldier (Farrell) is taken in. Soon, the house is taken over with sexual tension, rivalries, and an unexpected turn of events.
LARRY: I'm actually excited for this one. The cast and concept are intriguing to me.
MADHERO: O hey, another Palm DÓr contender. 2 in one episode. Who'd have thunk? Its actually a remake of an old Clint Eastwood film, though apparently they're quite different. The cast is great, yeah, and it looks like a lot of fun, what with Colin Farrell calling them vengeful bitches
STICKMAN: Clint Eastwood would never have this many female characters.
LARRY: Mmhmm. Also, LOVE ME some Civil War era movies. One of my favorite subgenres.
MADHERO: Loved Captain America Civil War especially
STICKMAN: Spider-Man was great in Clint Eastwood. The Gorillaz song.
LARRY: I'm hoping this can help Sofia Coppola get back to a solid streak after the blehhhhh Bling Ring. Definitely gonna try and see this one in theaters.
MADHERO: Sofia Coppola is hit or miss for me, but I'm definitely willing to give this a shot. Looks like something different, and hey, she won the Director's Award for it at Cannes, so there must be something to it.
STICKMAN: I thought people liked Bling Ring.
LARRY: Eh, not really. But I liked Marie Antoinette. And Lost in Translation. But the Bill Murray Christmas Special is noooooo gewwwwwwd
STICKMAN: I'm sure I've watched Lost in Translation but I can't remember anything about it.
MADHERO: Lost in Translation is damn good stuff. Hopefully it falls in that camp.
THE BAD BATCH
DIRECTOR: Ana Lily Amanpour (A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night)
STARRING: Suki Waterhouse, Jason Momoa, Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey, Giovanni Ribisi, Diego Luna
SYNOPSIS: A dystopian love story in a Texas wasteland and set in a community of cannibals.
MADHERO: Its time to go into some WEIRD SHIT. Context here, this is from the director of A Girl Walks Alone At Night, which can best be described as a Iranian vampire film, but this looks like something very different and weird. I mean, just look at that cast. Jason Momoa, Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey in one movie together about cannibals or something.
STICKMAN: A GirL Walks Alone at Night was stylish as FUUCK. Got cool characters, visually striking, fun soundtrack, but was a bit shallow otherwise.
LARRY: Yeah I was intrigued by that film. So similarly I am intrigued by this. But HELL is it weird.
MADHERO: Been a fan of Ana Lily Amanpour ever since, though it seems this film may be more style over substance and a bit too out there. Still though, nothing wrong with going for broke and just slightly missing the mark. I mean, how bad can a movie be where Reeves plays a character called The Dream, and Momoa a guy named Miami Man.
LARRY: Ahem, Jim Carrey tooooooooo. Playing a makeup-heavy hermit!! C'mon!
STICKMAN: This is kinda like...Drive to Only God Forgives I guess in terms of going all in on your weirdness because the previous film was a cult success and allowed that oppurtuinity. Let's hope...this isn't Only God Forgives levels of SHIET.
LARRY: I'm with ya there. *shivers*
MADHERO: Hopefully. Definitely something to check out if you want something more punk and indie this summer.
STICKMAN: I like Punkdindie.
LARRY: New band name?
MADHERO: Alright, that's it for the films coming this week, and besides Baby Driver, there really isn't a lot there where you go: man, I really need to see that. Hopefully though, Movie of the Week can help you with that!
STICKMAN: Oooh baby babbaaayyy. DUN DUNNANA ANNA AN. That's my way of saying I have nothing to talk about this week.
MADHERO: Baby Driver isn't my Movie of the Week cause that'd be lazy, but really, its the film you all should see when its out next week.
STICKMAN: Talk to me next week when I'll have seen all sorta of SHIET.
MADHERO: But in the meantime, what is your Movie of the Week, Sticky?
MOVIE OF THE WEEK
STICKMAN: Reads smudged ink on hand Uhuh...Moonn...la...la land? Haha...get that joke? My pick of the week is...LEGO Batman, because it was either that or Moonlight and I've already done Moonlight, but we did LEGO Batman last week so...yep here we are again. UHHH...
LEGO Batman is a film that starts out really strong, and ends up becoming a little generic after the first 30 minutes, but never stops being funny or visually interesting throughout. I think what makes this a really fun film to rewatch is just how many little details are in the background. The OG LEGO Movie had that too, but this one's even more fun because of all the little hidden DC easter eggs, be they characters in the background, or little signs or posters, or logos....it's really great for easter egg hunters. I watched this first in IMAX 3D, and it was the perfect format to watch it in, because it was so easy and clear to see all the details and love put into every frame of the film, it's a really good looking animation, maybe even moreso than OG LEGO Movie. And on top of that it's a really fun and at times rather sweet movie, a bit too generically sentimental also, but y....YEAH. How was that?
MADHERO: The easter egg hunting makes this a great film to get on DVD/Blu Ray. So many references.
STICKMAN: And you can pause the film and have a look without holding the projectionist hostage.
LARRY: I agree with you Sticky, it's pretty great minus a few generic things it tries to pull. There's one scene in particular that feels a bit like beating you over the head. Don't wanna spoil it, but it gets a tad too on the nose about what the movie is trying to say about the character.
MADHERO: Its not quite the same as Lego Movie, though that had the Lord/Miller magic touch, unlike another movie.
STICKMAN: Like I said last episode, if it'd remained the AIRPLANE! esque parody it starts out as, instead of becoming a generic animated movie like it does later on, it would've been supreme.
LARRY: The LEGO Movie is a much more muti-faceted movie thematically. Like there's not much comparison in my eyes. But on a visually comedic level, they are about matched.
MADHERO: Minor nitpicks aside, its still a great movie. Anyways, Larry, what's your Movie of the week
STICKMAN: WHAt'S NEXT HERE WE GO SOMETHEIGNSHISTHITIBETAHHAHAHA
LARRY: My pick is one of Disney's newer outings, Moana!
Moana may not be a new Disney classic, but it’s certainly another fun, heartfelt outing from the Mouse House, and features lots of fun music and animation. It may lean more towards the cliche side with certain moments (the third act in particular), it’s great to see a unique culture get spotlighted in such a loving way. Combined with Lin-Manuel Miranda’s passion and Mark Mancina’s great orchestrations, the movie’s score is brimming with Polynesian pride, and the best part is that it is all led by a heroine who isn’t your average wannabe princess. She makes bold choices, experiences failure, but learns lessons and showcases power. It’s arguably one of Disney’s most sensible and role-model-esque Disney princesses, and it’s great! You also have lots of fun comedy, with plenty of side characters to play with (including the ocean itself, which is a personal highlight) and The Rock as Maui leading it all. His charm is at full force here, and his singing isn’t half bad either. Add this to an ending that is truly a beautiful Disney moment, and you definitely have a solid entry into the Disney vault that showcases Disney Animation’s place in the modern animation industry.
STICKMAN: Fabulous shiny crab boy.
MADHERO: Oh hey, I saw this too and it was good fun
STICKMAN: The world needs more gay crabs. What do you think of the song at the start about coconuts or whatever that's really dumb.
LARRY: To be honest, I like almost all of the music.
MADHERO: Its probably one of the more traditional Disney films in a while, and even then it still delivers something very different, particuarly the lack of a major villain
STICKMAN: It's a more exciting film visually than anything.
LARRY: Honestly, it is traditional, but the story of Moana herself isn't really. Notice how she decides to kind give up on her dreams in the very beginning, which most don't. Then she just runs into her dreams and is legitimately screwed over. Very unique stuff for a Disney princess.
STICKMAN: I liked this film, and I don't really like musicals, so it must either be a SUPER GOOD ONE or a REALLY BAD MUSICAL.
MADHERO: Its a really good movie, and you get to see it on Netflx, provided you live in the States.
STICKMAN: Speaking of gay crabs, what's your pick, Mad.
MADHERO: I take offense to that, but sure. My film is something that recently came out on dvd here in the Netherlands, but has been out for a while in the US, and that is the Jackie Kennedy biopic Jackie.
Now you can argue whether or not Emma Stone deserved that Oscar she got for La La Land, I think she was totally fine in it, but Natalie Portman completely swept me away with her performance, portraying Jackie O in one of the toughest moments in American history and somehow keeping it together. The camera is constantly on her, with only a few scenes with a reporter being away from her viewpoint. Its certainly not going to be for everyone, but if you want to see some brilliant acting, you can do far worse than Jackie. Also one of the last performances of the late great John Hurt, who isn't in it much, but definitely makes a impact.
LARRY: YESSSSSSSS MAD I LOVE YOU
STICKMAN: I haven't seen this. I have failed.
MADHERO: I saw this back in February and thought it was great. Not "I love it" great like Larry seems to, but I definitely found it interesting.
LARRY: No, I do love this film. I consider it one of the best of 2016. And it was only after I watched it that I wanted to throw something at my TV over Stone winning.
STICKMAN: Oh my goodness.
LARRY: I mean, there's one shot where Jackie is wiping the blood off of her face. And it's this extreme closeup AND THAT SHOULD HAVE WON HER THE OSCAR ALONNNNNNNEEEEEE
STICKMAN: Could you say she was in WITH A SHOT. I have not seen this film and despite its lack of gay crabs maybe I should.
MADHERO: She's phenomenal in it. Just as good as she was in Black Swan in my opinion, though they're very different performances, which just speaks even more of Portman's abilities as an actress
MADHERO: Well, that's it for this week's episode. Go see Baby Driver please. Next week we'll talk about *looks at smudged writing* Spider-monkeys. That should be fun watching those damn dirty apes swinging around.
STICKMAN: I love Spider Men Cumming on Home.
LARRY: Guys ya gotta stop writing on your hands.
STICKMAN: How else am I supposed to talk about....musies. OKAY GUYS, SEE YOU LATER, MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT....Bunby Drove Home.
LARRY: Bye everyone!!
MADHERO: Try remembering all the movies you have to talk about without it. Anyway, that's ..... gud bay every bone.
1 day agoEoinOR
RTIreland2017 is official, guys! Post up on the RT Ireland page. Event page here: >https://www.facebook.com/events/1924089811197295/?context=create&previousaction=create&sid_create=3741608320&action_history=[%7B%22surface%22%3A%22create_dialog%22%2C%22mechanism%22%3A%22user_create_dialog%22%2C%22extra_data%22%3A%7D]&has_source=1
Any questions or queries, send me a message!
1 day agoJohnBsGhost
Finally made it into DC today!
Spending a few days with my girlfriend before we head back to DC. Anything we should check out?
I've been bitten by her dad's dog on my nose, going to have a sick scar though.
Also, running again, hopefully everyday from now on. I've put on wayyy to much weight.
1 day agoHandsy Professional Ametuer
11 Days to RTX... I am overwhelmingly excited. I've spent almost an hour consecutively just staring at the event schedule, meticulously picking out what panels I want to see and which ones I can miss out on.
Currently I'm sitting on my cot in a large fireworks tent right on the border of Oklahoma and Kansas. Here I will sleep for the next 9 days, through rain or storms, to work for some solid spending money for the trip down to Austin. I'm not going to lie, this gig is miserable but I will walk out with a serious chunk of cash.. and the excitement I have slowly building inside me is making it all worth it. On the 7th I will wake up at 4:00am and hit the road by 5:00am. I will arrive in Austin by 2:00pm which means I should make it to the convention center by 3:30 - 4:30pm. Not ideal, but its my only option and I'll still get to catch the end of the first day.
However all that matters now is here. Sitting on this cot, in a lonely tent. The good news? We set up next to a bar every year, and the owner sells me 24oz Coronas for $2. So not all is lost.
16 hours agoRadioactive_B
I've been a big fan of Rooster Teeth since high school, but mainly lurked on the website. I never posted because I felt like I had nothing to add. Plus, I've never learned the habit of talking in forums.
But finally I have something I'm pretty proud to share. hephaestus_j and I have been working on the comic of X-Ray and Vav since we found out it wasn't likely to get a season 3.
Finally! The first page is done and ready to be read. Hopefully we'll have a few more pages out before RTX Austin 2017.
1 day agoCaButler
Hello everybody and welcome to our next exciting episode of Log Horizon. Where we finally get to see the people who feel like they're trapped in a waking nightmare and will do whatever it takes to escape.
In our last episode, the battle for the village has begun, and the Odyssey Knights, true to their reputation, go out to meet them. Except they aren't doing the killing so much as being killed constantly. You see, they didn't go insane from the constant respawning so much as they went insane from being stuck in the game with no possible way of escaping. The constant death and rebirth allows them to see their friends and family from the real world, because they want to see them again. So, less addicts and more like an extreme way of coping.
Toya, who is on the opposite side of the spectrum, takes issue with their reasoning and gets into a fight with the knights' leader, who is nearly double his level so he's getting beat on as a result. We learn more of his backstory, where he was involved in an accident that put him in a wheelchair, possibly for the rest of his life.
Speaking of soul searching, Isuzu did some herself. She heard the knight's story, and admitted that she was like him, in a way. But she still loved her past life, and learning that this world is only stuck with forty two songs sets her musical spirit ablaze, as she finds her own resolve and vows to bring more music to this land.
Meanwhile, Minori and Roe2 have a confrontation, with the Shrine Maiden demanding to know who the vampire really is. However, this vampire throws all of Minori's questions back at her, causing her to wonder what she wants with her own life. After a moment, she decides that being the apprentice to a supervillain is probably good enough for now. This spurs Roe2 into action.
While all of this is happening, Nyan-ta, who's been doing some advance scouting, saw the wyverns and decided he needed to intervene, which involves him attacking the train that Minami is using. We also find out that they're using People of the Land to create Nightshade Servants for reasons. I suspect an army, really, but that some of the Evil Ominous Council of Evil aren't all completely behind with. Will Nyan-ta be able to stop this train? Will the kids find a way to win the battle? Let's tune in and find out.
-Our episode begins with Nyan-ta landing on the train from his griffin, a sight that will never get old, but he's immediately confronted by Londark. Our cool cat actually remembers him, much to my own surprise, given that Nyan-ta spent his time dealing with Demicas, but it's likely that our smooth cat made sure to remember the guild he fought, as well as the members who defected after Silver Sword took over Susukino. Though I don't know what Londark's issue with Nyna-ta is, I imagine it's just a general "You embarrassed me by proxy" thing. Those elves are so easily insulted sometimes, aren't they?
-After our opening, and I only just realized that KR was in the scene with Kanami during their one bit, we return to our confrontation, where Nyan-ta demands to know why Londark is doing with Plant Hwyaden. Okay, I guess they don't know who defected, but the chief is not happy. This cat does not like it when there are unexpected surprises, and this is one of them. Londark, however, is playing up the whole evil rival bit, telling the cat that his comment is no way to greet an old friend. Besides, what reason do they have to fight one another? Nyan-ta doesn't get a chance to response as Londark skips most of the typical conversation, saying that he can't have the cat in his way. Nyan-ta isn't wasting his time, either, as he starts drawing his weapon. Still, he does ask Londark if he knows what he's doing, how this is going to work? Because a fight with Nyan-ta typically ends in one way. The cat's opponent flat on their back.
-...Yes, I couldn't resist making a reference there. Anyway, Londark understands perfectly what he's doing. He's in it for the money, and he's being paid to provide security for Mizpha's "little toy train". I think she'll be upset if she caught wind of that. But Nyan-ta doesn't really care why Londark is there, mainly about the consequences of working with Minami. Londark responds with banter, saying that "consequences" wasn't included in the manual. That's when the elf sorcerer attacks first, which Nyan-ta stops by cutting it in half. You know, thinking on it, if Nyan-ta ever stared in his own media project (which I believe he did), it'd probably have a John Wick feel to it. Minus the revenge part.
-With the spell stopped, Londark continues with his comment, saying that "consequences" seems to be a theme for this place. No, wait, his theme is that he didn't get the manual for this world, either. Well, the problem is that the rules and laws keep changing that, at some point, they just threw their hands into the air and gave up. So you need to figure it out on your own, you bum!
-Tonight's episode is titled Birthday Song. And suddenly all the copyright strikes appear. Anyway, back to our standoff on the train as we get a flashback with the RTC and Krusty's concern with fighting the People of the Land. This was back in the first season, when the RTC was newly formed. I recall that Nyan-ta was there, acting as Shiroe's escort for the first meeting. In the present, Nyan-ta states to himself that the world is teetering on the edge of war, which is something Shiroe made clear in the first RTC meeting. He agrees with his guild master, saying that they're going to deal with that threat and keep it at bay, if they can. And I imagine a war between the Adventurer cities would spark and even greater war involving the People of the Land. One that Shiroe does not think they could win, despite their overwhelming power.
-Nyan-ta tries to get Londark to understand this, but the elf Sorcerer doesn't believe him, calling the chief dramatic. If he feels the need to complain to someone about going to war, take it up with the Person of the land who hired him. He then attacks Nyan-ta, who effortlessly blocks the attacks. He tells Londark that guilt by association is still guilt. Eh, I think that would be dependent on the situation, though in this particular case, I would agree that Londark is just as guilty as the person who hired him. Nyan-ta is now able to get close enough to attack, which Londark is able to avoid. He also response to the accusation that he's totally not guilty, for he's just a hired gun, and this isn't his war. I don't think the other side is going to care if it happens.
-Nyan-ta, bless his smooth soul, tries to plead with Londark, to think of the People of the Land who will die because of their actions, but the Sorcerer reminds the chief who hired him, saying that it's the People of the Land who want this war. He tries to get in another spell by Nyan-ta is too close, and while the chief's attack misses, it's enough to stop the spell. But the Swashbuckler keeps the attack going, forcing Londark to remain on the defensive, blocking the next attack. The chief tries to plead his case once more, saying that they can prevent it from happening, but Londark responds that he's never received a quest for peace before. I imagine it doesn't get used a lot because it's linked to that one Superman film that wasn't very good.
-Still, Nyan-ta is a bit surprised by Londark's answer. Does he seriously still consider this a game? But this appears to be a berserk button for Londark, who tells the cat to not condescend him. He argues that this place brought him here against his will. He never got his invitation, his chance to RSVP. As far as he's concern, he was abducted, but he throws this at Nyan-ta. Did he get an invite? Did he get a dialogue box letting him decide? In any case, he didn't ask to be here, and he doesn't like being here. Does Nyan-ta and his Log Horizon friends enjoy this? Do they actually prefer being here?! Well, if Nyan-ta could live out his Shaft fantasies, I imagine the answer would be yes.
-But Nyan-ta doesn't answer that question. Instead, he tells Londark not to be a damn fool. He knows perfectly well that none of them were invited to make this place their home. Londark tells the cat to not lecture him about other people's wars when they're out there taking advantage of the Adventurers. Okay, I see now. Back in the Susukino arc, Demicas' guild basically treated the People of the Land with disdain and still thought of it as a game. When Londark left, he kept the disdain for the People of the Land, but won't have any issues working for them. Demicas, who was a bastard, apparently changed his viewpoint when he ended up marrying one. So, as far as he's concern, if the People of the Land take something from him, than he's going to take something form them. It's an even trade. To you, maybe, but whoever you take from may not think that way.
-Nyan-ta seems to be looking down at Londark with disdain of his own as the Sorcerer comes in with several attacks. Nyan-ta is able to deflect all but one, which lands a hit and deals some damage to his HP. This hit allows Londark to get overconfident, asking if this is all Nyan-ta has to offer? During this break in battle, as much as he hates to admit it, Londark has a point. On the whole "basically being kidnapped and forced into the world of Elder Tales", that is. They are the victims and outsiders. It was unfair, and he suppose it's only right that some of them would resent it, and lash out in anger, and want to see it torn down. Which we've seen before, like in Susukino and with the Odyssey Knights. He recognizes that he could use his ability to remove Londark and anyone else, for that matter, but it's only a temporary solution at best. He stands, taking a breath, but adds that doing so wouldn't accomplish anything, and they'd be right back where they started. Also, I just want to add that, in this shot, for some reason, Nyan-ta's red scarf looks transparent, like he doesn't have a neck at all. I can understand that the scene is trying to be dramatic but that's something that's really distracting me.
-Anyway, Londark presses the attack, which lands on Nyan-ta, knocking him flat on his back. Choosing this moment to mock him, Londark asks if he has a better way to handle this. Should he, Londark, just lay back and let this world have its way with him? Nope, he's not going to do that. Nyan-ta slowly gets up, but appears to have his own counter in mind. As he stands, he tells Londark that what he said is true of all mankind. It's nothing but a child's conundrum. They're all born the same, and that they don't have a say in their birth. That's unfair, isn't it? But they all end up having to deal with it. Londark argues that being born is different than their current situation and attacks with Thorn Vine attack, but Nyan-ta does nothing to avoid the attack. And for that, he gets electrified for his failure to dodge the attack.
-But that doesn't stop Nyan-ta from arguing his own viewpoint. he says that they all woke up in this world and none of them had a say in it. None of them had a choice. They're just here. And then we get a shot of pre-school kids, then another shot of slightly older kids, including two that look suspiciously like Toya and Minori. That's an interesting shot of have. But Nyan-ta is still trying to plead with Londark, saying that he isn't the only one who feels trapped, whether they're in this game, back from where they came from, or any other world, for that matter. But apparently all Londark can here is "blah, blah, my viewpoint is better, blah." He tells Nyan-ta that he can wag his finger all he wants, but it's not like there's a system administrator who can kick him out and keep him from coming back. Oh, and he's not allowed to die, either! But Nyan-ta knows how to get him kicked off the server, than by all means, please do it. He releases Nyan-ta from his spell, but before he can strike again, he is attacked and stabbed from behind by Mizpha. Guess she got wind of his comments about her train after all.
-Mizpha tells Londark to be careful what he wishes for, then brings out... a tail, grabbing Londark by the neck and throwing him into the engine. Wow, that is not a good way to get killed off. She then turns to Nyan-ta, saying that the Adventurers are so marvelous. They can kill and die to their heart's content any time they wish. Nyan-ta, however, is shocked over Mizpha killing Londark, demanding to know the reasons why. First, she was tired of him talking, and second, death isn't permanent for the Adventurers, so why not? As far as she's concerned, when an Adventurer dies, they're basically changing rooms at a hotel. Nyan-ta has the perfect response for her. "Girl, you're trippin'." Looks like there's only so much insanity he can take.
-Oh, Mizpha forgets herself. She introduces herself as Mizpha Trude, the General Conqueror! So, wait, do you just conquer in general? In either case, she is the commanding officer here. So she hired Londark. Is this how the People of the Land handle their business, by hiring people and then killing them to avoid paying them? Mizpha laughs, saying that Nyan-ta should know better than that by now. What difference is there between "People of the Land" and "Adventurer"? I don't know. Let's ask Rudy, since he's a Person of the Land turned Adventurer. He would offer some insight into this question.
-But yeah, Mizpha says htat living things live off the death of other living things. They are the strong, and their strength is a weapon! And, of course, the weak use their weakness to get what they want. That's the truth in any world. Before Nyan-ta could answer, she charges in, forcing him to block. He feels like he's in trouble, despite the differences in level. He's shocked that she's so good with a sword, because of her status as one of the People of the Land. She continues her assault, asking what right does a person who can't die have questioning her desires for domination. Nyan-ta responds that she's instigating war, but she is a warlord, and if there's no war to lord over, then she's going to make one ,dammit!
-They exchange blows, but Nyan-ta is clearly on the defensive. As they lock blades, Mizpha asks if he can feel it? Her life is ablaze with glory! She's burning with the fire of war! She demands that Nyan-ta dance with him, calling him a zombie. Okay, at this point I think she's just saying whatever comes in her mind that sounds cool. Doesn't she know the difference between a zombie and an immortal being from beyond the veil? Though Nyan-ta comments on this, Mizpha's response is to ask what else she should call a freak who won't die? We see that Nyan-ta is bleeding, then tells her to shut her mouth before coming in with a skill called Viper Strike Rush, landing some blows of his own. She backs off slightly, but then comes in with a smile as the two lock blades.
-Mizpha calls Nyan-ta amazing, saying that she could fall for his skill. Yeah, I think Nyan-ta doesn't want to have a crazy suitor hunting him down. He's too old for that. Luckily, she dashes her own hopes, saying that he doesn't have the stomach to finish her. He finds that she has an unhealthy amount of pride in a sword fueled by malice, so he tells her as such. He breaks the lock and attacks with a skill called Early Battle Thrust, going right for the neck and what would be a killing blow. So much for not having the stomach, eh?
-Unfortunately, Kazuhiko intervenes, blocking the strike. This brings a pause into the battle, as Mizpha is just as surprised to be rescued by one of the Adventurers she looks down upon. I suspect Nyan-ta's surprise in seeing his old friend is that he's on the train, not that he's interfering. I imagine Nyan-ta is one of the few people Shiroe can be open with on nearly any information, classified or otherwise.
-Anyway, as much as we'd like to see the results of that confrontation, we return to the village, which is still being attacked by wyverns. We see explosions throughout the village as we see Dariella, walking alone. As a wyvern comes in after her, she calls out a skill called Spiritual Hypnotics, which causes the attacking wyvern to crash into a ruined building nearby. As the battle rages on, she drops her disguise, showing us Nureha once more. She's depressed, as is her usual expression, but apparently it's what Toya said to her that's bothering her. She wanted to toy with him a bit, that gaining their confidence should have been simple. She was friendly and should have fit right in. All she had to do was be nice to them and the kids warmed right up to her. And it should have been easy after that. She thought that Shiroe was the only special one she would meet, but apparently she was wrong again. Yeah, who knew that some of them had actual insight into how people acted.
-Nureha originally thought there was nothing to them being in the same guild, but she was wrong about that, too. She recalls Toya mentioning her fake smile, and how she doesn't have to do that with them. Turns out, because of that, she ended up liking Toya. To her, while young, he has a might sword forged deep within his heart. Still, he credits this to Shiroe, saying that his teachings is hte weapon he gives to others. Oh, lady, you're going to be upset when you find out the truth there. In her own twisted sense, she believes this makes Shiroe more special than he really is. Yet, I feel more pity for her, because this just shows how broken she really is.
-Suddenly, Loreile appears, happy to have found her, but warns Nureha that it's no longer safe to be here. He offers to escort her back to the palace, but she's reluctant to do that, saying that nobody will be able to live in this village anymore. She asks if Mizpha was behind this, and Loreile confirms it. Nureha blames herself, allowing Mizpha to do as she pleased without giving any thought to the results. She came out here at the Warlord's request, but to see what's happened, it saddens her. She thinks of Toya, then orders Loreile to eliminate every wyvern from the sky and destroy the Nightshade Servants along with them. Loreile is confused by this, but the Chief Councilor gave an order and she expects it to be carried out. She will have you whipped for disobeying orders! And don't even get her started on what she'll do to Mizpha when they meet up again.
-As Loreile run off to follow orders, Nureha thinks to herself that she will do everything she can to give the Log Horizon junior members all the help they need. While their time together was short, they embraced her with warmth as one of their own. She wonders if Shiroe will notice what she's doing? Will he think she's hindering them? Or will he be pleased? Perhaps it's just another silly whim of hers as she turns back into Dariella. She comments that she's not giving them a gift, but pleads with Shiroe to hurry,wanting to hear his voice one more time. And to show how not insane she is, she hops around in the ruins of the village, humming a song. Yeah, totally not a crazy thing to do.
-Our eye catch for this episode is chibi members of the Junior Members, with the image being the Nightshade Servants looking on as Wolfy tries to eat the Fuzzy Goat Slime. You know, you don't have to interject the chibis in every eye catch. When we return to the episode, it's back on the train. Kauzhiko warmly greets Nyan-ta, but the chief doesn't have time for pleasantness. He needs to deal with Mizpha before she gets too out of control. Well, so much for a peaceful greeting. Kazuhiko won't allow Nyan-ta past him, but the cat is curious. Why is he mixed up with these People of the Land? Why, his sense of duty, of course. Uh, your sense of duty to who, i wonder?
-Here we get inside of Nyan-ta's head. There, he says that Kazuhiko is working to turn Plant Hwyaden into a healthy and productive guild. At least, that's what Shiroe said. But looking at him now, it's obviously to the chief that Kauzhiko has lost touch with his inner sense of well-being. he can feel the anger from his former DTP friend, that he's surprised he isn't feeling crushed form the weight. And this was apparently a recent change, because in the DTP flashback, he's smiling, but here, that smile is gone. Sounds like he isn't the leak after all.
-Mizpha, however, is tired of all this bantering, or lack of, and charges in after Nyan-ta, who easily deflects the attacks. They continue to exchange blows as Mizpha says that the operation is already underway, and that Red Night, the name of the operation, will knock the Adventurers off their little pedestals for good. They continue to exchange blows as we see that Mizpha has gone mad with bloodlust, but they break away, with Nyan-ta teetering on the edge of the train. Too bad he doesn't have a horse riding along the train, doesn't he?
-Kazuhiko looks at Mizpha wit ha disapproving look as she mocks Nyan-ta. She thought he would be stronger, and physically, he is, but all that compassion is going to get him killed one of these days. And he'll get other people kill with his ridiculous urge to save their lives. She brings out her vine whip, which he destroys with each, but as he goes in for the kill, Kazuhiko intervenes once more, grabbing the blade by his hand. He brings this battle to an end, but Mizpha is upset by this. What, does she want to die or something? Turns out, he received orders for Nureha, and everybody in the guild will follow her orders whether they like it or not.
-Kauzhiko turns to Nyan-ta and says that the operation is being cancelled. Mizpha looks like she's on the verge of taking her anger out on him, but she relents and goes back into the train. Nyan-ta, however, isn't down with Kazuhiko and demands to know what Plant Hwyaden is doing? It doesn't make any sense... and Kazuhiko is yelling, saying that he doesn't need to tell him anything. Wow, he is really, really angry. He then gets in a sneak attack, hitting Nyan-ta in the stomach, but says this is better than the alternative. He returns to the front of the front of hte train, destroying the connector for the second cab, sending Nyan-ta away. Apparently his interference was to prevent Nyan-ta from having the blood of a Person of the Land on his hands. Yes, because clearly you know better than the chief here.
-As for Nyan-ta, he wonders if Kazuhiko intervened because they used to be friends? Well, he's glad that his friend still cares about him. But for now, all he can do is stand there, looking cool, as the target runs away from him. Yes, that train is totally running away from him, because even it is afraid of the cat called Nyan-ta.
-As day turns to night, we return to the village to see that the battle rages on. Rudy and Isuzu continue through the village, dealing with Nightshade Servants as they meet them. Along the way they find some Odyssey Knights falling, but also spot some kids in one of the nearby buildings. Isuzu wishes she could do something but can't help at the moment. The song won't play itself, after all. We hear a noise, like a ringing of a bell, as we see Toya's been beaten up a bit. Up above, Roe2 is flying in the air with Minori, telling her little brothers and sisters that Big Sister is here and she won't abandon them. Apparently that horse allows her voice to carry over pretty well.
-Roe2 goes on to say that the first friend she made in this world is worried that there isn't going to be anything left here but sadness and sorrow. Unable to reach an understanding, her kingdom was left to collapse. Now the princess is screaming inside of her! Now she walks with her, the princess who shatters all covenants! Disruptor of all treaties! Behold, Sword Princess Al Quenje! Everybody stares in shock as a golden light comes from Roe2, summoning a being with a staff and harp. I bet there's a sword inside of the staff. As this creature stares down the wyverns, she starts strumming on her harp. And suddenly, explosions everywhere! Then another strumming of the harp brings forth fire from the sky, clearing away the clouds, taking out the Nightshade Servants in the village. So that's what allows Dariella to hop along the explosive village streets.
-While the firework show is happening, Isuzu sees the two kids run off. While she knows there's not much they can do with the odds they're facing, she will lend them her voice and her strings to let them know that they're all important to her. Maybe she can do a duet with the summoned princess. She nods to Rudy, and soon, they're rushing through the streets. She goes on to stay that music is such a minor, little thing, it can only do so much. It doesn't matter how much you sing about wanting to change the world. They all have to play a part. You can be the greatest musician there ever was, but songs, on their own, can't really bring peace to the world. I think that depends on who's doing the singing and if they're singing it to an alien race that knows nothing of song.
-But with all that, Isuzu is still going to sing for the people. She knows what makes them what they are and she knows what they're feeling right now. She understands how they feel as we get a flashback to real life Isuzu in her room, a cello in the foreground and an instrument case on her lap. She say that songs are prayers that are heard and answered, a feel she knows all too well. Her friends, her family were always telling her to hang in there and to not give up. In the present, Isuzu says that she doesn't know if she'll become a musician, but she swears that she'll love music every day for the rest of her life. After all, Rudy did everything he could to become an Adventurer, and it didn't even matter if it was really possible. He fought against the injustices of the world, including taking on and killing a direwolf singlehandedly. So she doesn't really need to know if she's a natural born musician or not. Rudy brought her closer to herself, who always believed in her and gave her a song. So are you going to stop seeing him like a puppy dog or is he stuck like that forever?
-The two meet up with Serara, who tells the duo that everything is okay. Well, except for the village being a smoldering ruin, but hey, small victories. She, along with her familiar, Wolfy, were able to get everybody in the west part of the village evacuated. As for Toya, he's as stubborn as a mule, still giving Shunichi trouble. Shunichi is telling him that hte fight is for the Odyssey Knights and doesn't concern him. Serara, showing off her rather impressive hearing, says they're on the bridge, which is nearby. Rudy tells Toya to not screw this up until he gets out there, then you can screw up as much as you want. And the trio are off to rescue Toya, who we see still getting beat on by the older knight.
-Toya is doing al lhe can to stop the Odyssey Knights from killing themselves, but Shunichi, who's pretty far gone, isn't going to take this nonsense from a punk kid. He threatens to kill the kid, something he really doesn't want to do, but Toya, bless his little heart, tells him to do what he needs to do. You can go right through him, but he won't move an inch. Shunichi tells him that he won't stop the Odyssey Knights from their destiny and tells Toya to clear their path to the underworld. Isuzu stares in shock as we see the wyverns still going at it in the village. She stares in horror, thinking of all the damage and death that has happened, and finally, she just snaps.
-As the knights walk by a dejected Toya, Isuzu screams out that what they said is not true. They don't need a stupid dying ground or some path ot the underworld. Rudy and Serara stare at the bard as she tells them that she wants to give this world it's forty third song. it's what she wrote for this world, and she's going to play it right here and now! With all the fire and the flames happening, I hope it's a metal song.
-We soon see that Isuzu has made her way a top of a build that's surprisingly still intact. As she stands there, she remarks that this is the world where she walks alongside her friends. She admits, it's not perfect, but at least it's not some desperate path to self-destruction. As she plays the song, which is not one of the ending songs, she recalls the good and the bad memories with her friends and with her father. Her song reaches everybody there, which includes the Odyssey Knights, her friends, the People of the Land, Dariella and her guild, and I think Mizpha and Kazuhiko. But they aren't glowing so maybe they're out of range. Also, Kazuhiko is trying to look awesome, riding on top of the train, but he isn't a humanoid cat who acts like Shaft riding on a griffin to battle awesome.
-We see Roe2 and Minori still in the sky, possibly also out of range from Isuzu's song. The to Nyan-ta, watching from afar on a hilltop. And just so we know that what happened with some of these characters isn't some animation error, when we see the rest of the Junior Members once more, they're glowing. The battle rages on as we see Shunichi falling, but with a huge grin of joy on his face. Wow, that's pretty dark. But with that, Isuzu's song end as the remains of the fallen fly into the moonlit sky. What a perfect way to end an episode.
-Right, so comments on the song. It's okay. I mean, it's not the greatest thing ever, and to the show's credit, it doesn't say it is, either. If anything, it's the completion of Isuzu's character arc, coming to it's proper end. So I'm glad they didn't try to sell it as anything other than her singing her heart out.
-In our next episode preview, Akatsuki states their journey is done. What did they accomplish? Were they able to save anyone? The junior members leave with a dark cloud hanging over them. While the yare still troubled by what transpired, Roe2 gives them a letter addressed to Shiroe. Meanwhile, a new threat bears down on the City of Akihabara. All this and more in our next episode, The Flutter of Skylarks. Shiroe's comrades are always beside him, even if they're on the wrong side of a conflict.
What I gathered from this episode is, despite looking united, Plant Hwyaden are split into their own factions. Mizpha is probably acting under orders but is so against the Adventurers that anything to take them down a peg will always have her support, even if it includes killing off the people she hired for a job. I wasn't certain about Kazuhiko, but I'm starting to suspect that he's not as noble as he tries to make himself out to be. Sure, he claims he was keeping Nyan-ta from having the blood of a Person of the Land on his hands, but was that really the case?
That said, thinking on it now, it could be possible that Kazhiko sent Tetora to Shiroe for the exact purpose of acting as a plausible deniability cause. She defected on her own and whatever information she had she could have passed to Shiroe, all while feeding her information to be fed to Shiroe.
We also got to see Nyan-ta let loose for a bit, though his fight with Mizpha ended in a draw, but clearly he saw something in Kazuhiko that says a lot to him. I imagine Shiroe won't like getting this report from him anytime soon.
As for Dariella, man, she has a low opinion of anybody who isn't Shiroe. Granted, she doesn't know Toya's backstory, but at the same time, she doesn't think he could have the knowledge to figure out she was faking it. It was totally Shiroe's teachings and nothing else! Still, it's very clear that whatever Mizpha was up to, she had no idea of it and when she found what it was, put a stop to it immediately. Which I think does say something about her. She's honestly a nice person, but is being led astray and used by someone who is as close to irredeemable as possible.
As for the kids, well, they're still fighting their battles, though Isuzu has resolved her arc, making her stronger, but I can't help but think the kids never really got a chance to shine in this conflict. Aside form Isuzu and Rudy, Toya was getting thrown around like a ragdoll, Minori was riding along with Roe2, and Serara was off screen helping people out. For an arc that was about them, they got sidelined at a pivotal moment. It's a bit disappointing, but hey, it looks like they have one episode left so maybe things will change.
With this, there are only five episodes left. Which means that we're three weeks away from ending this journey. I already have the next show picked out so I hope you'll join me for that. But as the end draws near, will Shiroe be any closer to solving the mysterious of the Apocalypse? Will the cold war with Minami escalate? And what is this new threat to Akihabara? Tune in on Friday to find out.
Until next time, remember, when you need to stop somebody from stabbing another person in the throat, make sure you grab the blade directly. That will cause it to stop from it's target instead of just slicing through your hand and landing on the target, anyway. Plus, you'll have bonus points of looking cool while doing it, too.
12 hours agoPandaSarah
Yo! Oblivion time guys! More crazy adventures with Terrence~
The stream will start about 8:00pm BST and it will be on Callum's Twitch.
Mic will be on, so come join us in chat! Not that anyone has been, but don't be rude in chat.
Just come along, enjoy the game, have a chat (We get lonely when no one is there) and just have a good time.
Saturday is the day for Panda and Friends! at around about 8pm BST every time, unless stated otherwise!
Callum's streams will be every Monday 8pm-12pm BST and Wednesday 8pm-11pm BST
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