Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck.
Let's throw in some shit fuckity fuck cakes.
I'm going to hate writing about this. Serious personal journals aren't my forte.
Today I finished a terrible - no, that needs to be upgraded - the most mentally draining and relentless semester I've ever had. The winter and spring of 2017, they have not treated me well. It's like my thoughts were not my own. It was very well one of my lowest points so far, caused by several factors that joined together to deliver one massive blow.
I repeatedly tried to do creative works to get me out of whatever I had, but it all turned to black. That's not an expression, but it fits so well. My hands felt tainted. As someone who is hellbent on being productive and always having a sharp mind, it was a mental state that I was very unfamiliar with. So when I needed to exhale, I mostly stuck to cosplay props and tiny passive projects to try to carry me out of that blackness.
The only positives I can draw from it are that I feel better about who I am as a person than I did before all this. My outlook on things didn't change drastically, but it was a tweak that made me see things in a different light. Now I just need a change of scenery.
After RTX I'm spending 6 months in Vermont tying up loose ends for school. After that? I'm....really not sure. My biggest priority will be finding a good stable job, ideally related to digital imaging. I might give the Czech Republic one last chance in a different city, stay in Vermont a bit longer, or maybe I'll move somewhere else entirely. Nothing is really tying me down to a particular place.
That was probably too much.
Or maybe just enough for internet friends I don't see in real life often.
I'm not even sure why I wrote it. I never really talk about emotions and things like this.
Maybe for closure.
I really appreciate you guys. Even with the site functionality being shit, if it weren't for you guys on the site and my two best friends, as bad as it was, it could have been much worse. After a month of not feeling like trash, despite having an exam period, I can confidently say that things are alright now. RTX will be a great bookend for the suckville 2017 has been for me so far.
As promised here are some gifs of doggos doing dumb things!
What are your favorite gifs of derp puppers? Or have any other dumb animal gifs? c:
~ Mish
Comments (73)
zeitgeistzest (~‾▿‾)~
1 month ago
Just dropping by to say hello and I really like your header image... :D It's awesome.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 month ago
Thanks! ~
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Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
2 months ago
Did your package that you mailed to yourself arrive ok?
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
2 months ago
Yup! Got here on Friday I think
+1 Cool
Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
2 months ago
@Lamkia
Good to know!
Additionally, in response to your comment about receiving gifts; you are deserving of it.
And it would have been gifted to you regardless of what your answer was.
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ArnettV Gif Addict
3 months ago
Happy FU day! Two in a week? Wow!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
I guess I'm a special little muffin
I don't know what that is supposed to mean I just made that up but it sounds nice
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ninjacake Senzu Bean!!!
3 months ago
Reading these comments it looks like I missed your first FU day from a week ago so I'll congratulate you for both of them now. Happy FU day!!!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
Ah, no problemo, and thanks :D
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Izayer Keeper of Stories
3 months ago
FU twice in one month, that's cute. JK, just playing. Gongrats FUx2.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
I feel doubly happy about it
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DrHairz Professional Human
3 months ago
Hey, FU!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
:D
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Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
3 months ago
You are the Featured User, congratulations! Do you you get a plaque or a trophy this time?
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
No ;-;
Maybe next time for number 5, if there is a next time
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IronBridge Keeper of Knowledge
3 months ago
+1 Funny
LadyOddDuck Call Me Duck
3 months ago
Happy FU Day! Again.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(thanks!)
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Toptoast Keeper of the Breakfast
3 months ago
Uhh..happy FU! ...again?!?!
There must be some timey wimey stuff goin' on here.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Ratatoskr Keeper of Logics
3 months ago
Twice in - what? A week?
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Joe Eighty7/RT Radio
3 months ago
Again?!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
....wat
I mean I'm pretty cool I guess, but not this cool
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Joe Eighty7/RT Radio
3 months ago
twice in a week is like, you're so cool I'm slightly intimidated
+1 Funny
CoffeeNut78 PUC the Lunatic
3 months ago
guláš/goulash, though. Can I pass with that?
Not quite. Goulash vs Gumbo..... I live in the northern USA so I am familiar with Goulash. But I have family on the Louisiana gulf that have taught me to cook Cajun.
And though I love my dad's family goulash.... it does not hold a candle to my mother's, aunt's GUMBO.
I wish I had my Aunt's Gumbo recipe.
I love to cook and her gumbo is the best I have ever had.
Now maybe it is not the best in the WORLD!!
But it is the best to me because it is a 3 generation recipe made with family love.
I really need to put the 15 pages of hand written notes into a txt format some day.
You give me your Goulash and I'll give you my Gumbo/
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
Well the guláš I have in mind isn't the same as what is served in the US. Czech guláš is essentially a soup with potatoes, beef, peppers, and a tomato based broth. That's not to mean that it is any closer to gumbo, but I would definitely like to try it sometime c:
+1 Cool
Joe Eighty7/RT Radio
4 months ago
RT Radio DJ AND FU the next day?! Some people have all the luck
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
It must be rigged, clearly :D
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Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
4 months ago
Happy FU day! Embrace the FU, EMBRACE IT!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
3 months ago
Aye aye, cap-i-tan!
+1 Cool
ArnettV Gif Addict
4 months ago
Happy FU day! Night? Period of time in which your face is on the front page of the site!
+1 Cool
LadyOddDuck Call Me Duck
4 months ago
Happy FU Day!
+1 Cool
AgentWashingtub008 Crackpot of Coffee
4 months ago
Just in time for you Disc Jockial debut, a celebratory F to U.
+1 Cool
Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
4 months ago
Yay! I was kinda hoping not to make another journal for a while since I've made so many lately, but for FU it's obligatory!
+1 Funny
AgentWashingtub008 Crackpot of Coffee
4 months ago
Yeah @Lamkia , between making mine and a general two-day rule for big posts, I've had to push some back.
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Izayer Keeper of Stories
6 months ago
Thanks for the advice and compliments earlier. It means a lot, thanks.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
6 months ago
I'm glad I could be of some use, and I hope to see more stuff!
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Evv KevinEverett
6 months ago
Same here, I appreciate the comment you left on my journal. It made me lift my head a bit higher. Thank you sm!
+1 Cool
LonktothePast
11 months ago
Just want to say, best cover photo, ever.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
11 months ago
Thanks! My favorite part about it is how Adam peeps out of the side when I'm on mobile
+1 Funny
Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
1 year ago
Congratulations on having your Raven mask selected for the 30th Fan Art Friday!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Thanks! I'm glad I managed to get such a nice round number like 30
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Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
1 year ago
Hey, everything going good? You seem to have been pretty quiet on the site or in the OCC at least. Don't forget, RTX is in like a week and I'm expecting to see you at the OCC dinner meet up if nothing else. Take care.
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
As you probably already read in the OCC, I'm okay! I just had to duck out for a little for school because the community can get quite distracting when I have to study non stop. Thanks for worries, though (you guys are the best), and I can't wait to see you guys next week! :D
+1 Cool
Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
- A failed test, ignore (◡‿◡✿) ~
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Jim_Survak Ain't Nobody
1 year ago
Hey Lamkia,
I know you commented a while back on my sleep experiments. It just so happens I was listening to one of my podcasts today & the host has been doing his own methods for trying to find what works best to help him sleep. He's still testing everything so this is not final & he's also not a doctor. But I thought of you & wanted to give you the option of checking it out.
https://www.grc.com/health/sleep/healthy_sleep_for...
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Awesome, I'll definitely take a look at it, thanks! c:
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Joron093 Keeper of The Forges
1 year ago
Happy Valentines Day!
+1 Cool
Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Thank you :D You too!
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kaosblack21 RTX Guardian V.3.0
1 year ago
Yay! Fellow OCC-goer! Coolest group of people ever!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Yeees, truer words have never been spoken~
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Toptoast Keeper of the Breakfast
1 year ago
Hello!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Hello~ Thanks for the request! c:
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Toptoast Keeper of the Breakfast
1 year ago
No problem! It's always nice to meet someone new!
+1 Cool
IronBridge Keeper of Knowledge
1 year ago
I upload new and interesting facts everyday in my series:
"Fact of The Day"
Hope to see you there!
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Sounds interesting!
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IronBridge Keeper of Knowledge
1 year ago
I see what you did there...
Also welcome hope you like learning new things
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DrHairz Professional Human
1 year ago
FU! Congrats! :D
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Oh thanks! I didn't notice this till now, sorry for the late response :l
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DrHairz Professional Human
1 year ago
Haha XD it's quite alright XD better late than never right?
+1 Cool
IndiaRT28
1 year ago
Wow really? Featured User again? I would say Congratulations, but sadly you already unlocked the Achievement from 7 months ago XD
+1 Funny
Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Nuuuuuu, give it to me again!
+1 Funny
IndiaRT28
1 year ago
Oh fine. . . :P
"Congratulations on earning the Achievement: "Featured User II!"
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
1 year ago
Hm, I didn't actually expect you to. Now I feel like a dick.
Thank you~ c:
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DRosales
2 years ago
Congrats on your featured user status!
+1 Ditto
MrJacinto Hey I'm Grump
2 years ago
I am literally leaving you my most sincere comment.
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MrJacinto Hey I'm Grump
2 years ago
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
2 years ago
I am so overwhelmed by your sincerity~
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Bellzebob
2 years ago
Congrats on being Featured User!
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Ishmalite
2 years ago
Happy Featured User Day!
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IndiaRT28
2 years ago
Congratulations on earning the Achievement: "Featured User!"
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Lamkia Keeper of Snarky Sarcasm
2 years ago
I feel so accomplished~
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