I had a bad day at work today. I was depressed which happens to me occasionally and it's usually not a big deal but today happened to be the day I had a meeting with the new manager at work. Let me preface this by saying I'm generally very honest and upfront about things. I think that addressing a problem is better than keeping it to yourself and letting it get out of control.
So it started, she asked how I liked working with the company at the moment. I asked if she wanted my honest answer which she replied yes. I'll stop here or a minute, because this is a huge point for others. They don't want your honest answer, they want their honest answer. Anything you say that isn't positive will just be taken in the most negative form possible. Kind of like RWBY forum comments. I shall continue.
So I responded honestly, saying I was finding it frustrating and difficult and therefore not enjoyable. I know, that's my mistake but I'm honest and she wanted my honest opinion. This out the conversation into a negative direction instantly as I was asked to elaborate on what I was struggling with. So again, I gave examples of difficult situations I was in over my time, how I handled it and how it could be improved upon. To which the response was basically always "yes, I'm working on that but it takes time".
It then went into a discussion about how busy it is and how we have several projects running at the same time which I added as a reason why I wasn't bothering people to get them to show me things and instead finding the answer myself. Which she responded is something "you have to do sometimes". To which I said, I understand that which is why I did it rather than ignore it because I want to learn.
This is where things started to loop. She said I was very negative and wanted to know what I wanted and how it could be fixed. I responded with I just want to know how to do my job and how things worked so I could better identify an issues problem. To which she replied that takes time. To which I replied I understand that, hence why I'm not making a big deal about it and finding alternate ways to get the information I need. To which she replied that I was very negative and wanted to know how I could fix that.
You see the loop there right? Now I just thought this was just a tactic to try and make it look like I was the unreasonable one but I think it was just an attempt to say "hey you should quit". But I just took it as not caring or wanting to know what does make me happy and trying to push me to being happy the way they are.
I'm happy when I am helping people and solving problems. Being able to apply the knowledge I have to an issue and resolve it for a user. That's what makes me happy. Being an efficient and effective worker. Because to me work is work. It's something you do to give you the means to do what really makes you happy.
Anyway it ended with her saying she was going to discuss this with my manager and his manager so I'm assuming that's one of these "he doesn't fit in" conversations which by the way, she also said that personal and business are separate but we all know that's not true. People always use emotion in business. I could see she took it all personally which it wasn't but I can't change a persons misinterpretation after the fact.
So that's why I think I'll probably be let go tomorrow.
Merry Christmas all.